Struggling in motherhood?
While we mostly live in safety—without famine or war—mothers continue to struggle.
We want to get it right.
What does that even mean?
We want to do the food right. The activities right. The sports, the connection, the friendships, the home life—all of it. And yet, we never feel like we measure up. To our own expectations. To society’s expectations.
But here’s the truth:
Life is messy.
Kids will fight.
Houses will be chaotic.
Challenges will come.
Relationships will be strained.
Grief will appear at some stage.
Here’s what I hear from mothers every single week—mothers in my life, my clients, my friends, and even my own therapists who are further down the road than me:
Mothers are continuously struggling to:
Meet their core needs. Nourishing food, time to rest, alone time, support, asking for help.
Feel deserving of help. It’s hard to ask for what they need, and even harder to receive it.
Build core beliefs of worthiness. To believe I am enough, I am worthy of care, I am worthy of support, I am loved.
Listen and empathize with their children’s emotions. Tears, tantrums, whining, meltdowns—when no one has listened to their own emotions, they are already full to the brim of suppressed emotional gunk. This MUST be released—through practices like somatic work, journaling, therapy, baby steps every day.
Silence self-criticism. “I had a bad day. I yelled. I shamed my child. I’m the worst mother.”
Practice self-empathy and repair. Many mothers find it nearly impossible to offer themselves love, tenderness, and care—to speak to themselves as they would a dear friend.
Communicate boundaries. To say NO and hold firm on limits. Many mothers don’t believe they matter enough to be truly heard.
Navigate anger and rage. The most common struggle. Especially with sibling conflict, overstimulation, aggression in the home, or a child directing their anger toward their mother.
Face fear of conflict, anger, and aggression. When you live in terror of your child’s big feelings, meltdowns, or attacks, it’s often because you don’t believe you are strong enough to handle them. Healing your fear of anger is deep work—but necessary.
Some Simple Insights
Why These Struggles Make Sense:
Your nervous system wasn’t designed to parent alone, with constant overstimulation, and without enough support. Your struggles are not personal failings; they are symptoms of unmet needs.
The Support You Need:
Nervous system care: grounding, somatic release, movement.
Emotional processing: journaling, therapy, breathwork, baby steps.
Community: safe conversations with those who truly see and support you.
Boundaries: giving yourself permission to matter.
Baby Steps Forward:
This week, choose one small thing to focus on:
If you struggle with self-criticism: Offer yourself one kind thought at the end of the day.
If you struggle with anger: Practice a pause before reacting.
If you struggle with asking for help: Ask for support in one tiny way and allow yourself to receive it.
You are not alone. You are not failing. You are human, and you deserve care, just as much as the people you care for. 💛